The Dreaded Two Week Wait (2WW)...

Alright, the ultrasound on June 14th went great! I had 3 "beautiful follicles" this time. I totally love that my doctor calls them beautiful. That's like being told everything is "glorious" at your yearly pap smear ;-)

So, I was told to do the trigger shot (force ovulation) at precisely 9pm the next night (Saturday), and come back for insemination on Monday, June 17th at 9am. Now, if you know us, the 17th has always been a special date. We started dating August 17th, Manda's birthday is October 17th, we were married on November 17th, so now we inseminate on June 17th. I think it's a good, powerful number :)

We decided to change our donor this time. The first one didn't work the first two times, so we tried a different one. This one had even more swimmers, 120 million (!), and a higher motility. Good thing we tried someone new!

So, we inseminated Monday morning. Just as the first time was super difficult, so was this one. The first nurse had to get a second nurse. The second nurse had a hard time and had to "re-arrange" the speculum several times. Then she had to go up a size in the speculum. I'm sure you're cringing by now! But, eventually she got it just in the right place. Afterwards, she tilted the table in hopes to tip the sperm in the right direction, and I laid on the table for 40 minutes. Both new things, so I'm hoping they worked in our favor.

Afterwards, they send us home and say something about hoping to see us for a pregnancy test in two weeks.

Now, I've done this 3 times. The first time I was a crazy mess the ENTIRE two weeks. The second time I was cool for a couple days, then became a crazy mess. This time, believe it or not, I was cool for a whole week. But now, I turn into a crazy mess. It's Tuesday, insemination was last Monday. In a perfect two weeks, I'd know something by next Monday. But, a couple things could happen:
-I could start my period before then;
-I could be too impatient and take a test before then.

At this point in the dreaded two week wait I'm trying to find anything i can to keep my mind busy: working, crochet or any other craft ideas, walking, watching movies all day long, working, sleeping, writing blog posts (however this doesn't exactly keep my mind off baby thoughts), playing games on my phone, working... You get the point. It's pretty much impossible to not think about.

I'm constantly going over things in my head including: do i really have nausea? Is it hormone meds or pregnancy? Why do i have a super nose? Is it real or imagined? Do my boobs hurt? Or do they not hurt? I'm constantly going back and forth between the optimistic I must be pregnant, to the pessimistic I must not be pregnant. THIS DRIVES ME INSANE!!!!

At this point, I'm not sure exactly what date to expect, or not expect, my period. Somewhere around this Saturday or Sunday, I think. But I'll be in touch.

While we were waiting we worked, crocheted, watched lots of movies, played a lot on my phone, and made final plans to pack and move to Lansing!!

Negative again...

So, have you ever heard of "implantation spotting"? I hadn't, until I began this journey. When i googled "the very first signs of pregnancy", i came across all the things you would think of: missed period, sore breasts, nausea, exhaustion. But i also saw things about implantation spotting. The confusing thing is that this spotting happens at about the same time as your period would be due to start. Last Thursday, i had some spotting. Just as they say i might. I wasn't due to start until Sunday, June 2nd, so i thought this might be a good sign. I only spotted for a few hours. Friday i had nothing. I started to get more excited thinking this might be it!

Saturday morning we just couldn't wait any longer to take a test. So we did. It was early, about 6, because we had to be on the road at about 7. We do the test, lock it in the bathroom for 5 minutes in hoping it will develop into something amazing. Then we come back and there is only 1 line. Only 1 line, just like last time.

What do we do now?? I don't mean next in life, i mean at this very second that we only see 1 line. Shrug our shoulders and say maybe next time? Hug each other knowing we still have each other no matter what? Cry? The answer is yes. We do all of those. The rush of emotions at this time is intense. I can't begin to explain the rising and rising and rising of emotion in the last 2 weeks. The lack of sleep, the crazy high stress level, not to mention the hormones surging through me. It is so unbelievable, then to have it fall. Fall straight down like falling off a cliff.

I'll tell you, one of the main reasons i wanted to wait until Saturday to test, was because i knew Saturday would be a fun day. I didn't want to test then go to work. It would have been a sad day to work if we had gotten a negative. So i thought, let's test on a fun day, then if it's negative we still have something fun planned for the day! That's one of the best ideas I've had :) We had a fun day at a cousins dance recital and then had lunch with family afterward. It was comforting to have the focus on others while still being with family.

So, i had my period, and called my doctor first thing on Monday morning. They allowed me to go ahead with another cycle right away without waiting to see the doctor. So on Monday, day 3 of my cycle, i started taking Clomid again. I'll take it for 5 days hoping to make 4 more beautiful follicles :) My midcycle ultrasound is scheduled for next Friday, June 14th.

But for now, we wait!

While we were waiting we enjoyed some time with family, managed to catch a cold, and am in bed for the day.

They say third time's a charm, don't they?!?!